Unstress

What are you carrying?

A short list of sentences to help you sort out what “stress” means for you right now, and read what each kind usually needs. It might help when the usual advice isn’t making a difference.

Educational, not diagnostic

This tool is for education and self-reflection. It does not diagnose any medical or mental health condition, and it does not replace professional care. If you are concerned about your health or wellbeing, consider speaking with a qualified healthcare professional.

We call a lot of different things “stress”, but they’re not all the same thing. They often come together, and they need different things. That’s why the usual advice, slow down and be gentle with yourself, helps with some of them and does nothing for others.

Tick the sentences that are true for you right now. This isn’t a test. It can’t tell you what you have, and it can’t tell you that you’re fine. It just shows you what you ticked, and what each of those things usually needs.

Which of these are true for you right now?

Too much at once

More to do than there’s time for.

There’s more on my plate than there are hours, and it’s been like that for a while.
I can name what they are: a job, a person, a bill, a deadline. They’re real.
If two or three of them were taken off me, I think I’d be alright.
I keep dropping things. Not because I forget, but because there’s no room.

Running on empty

Empty, and rest isn’t putting it back.

I’m tired in a way a weekend doesn’t fix.
Things I used to manage easily now take more than they’re worth.
I’ve been getting less sleep, less food or less daylight than I need, for longer than I meant to.
Even the things I enjoy feel like effort.

Switched on

Your body is on alert and won’t come down.

My body is on alert, tight and jumpy, heart going, even when nothing is happening right now.
I can’t sit still with it. Trying to relax makes it worse.
It comes over me in waves that build, peak and then pass.
I sleep lightly, or I wake up already tense.

Going round in circles

The same thought, over and over, getting nowhere.

I keep going over the same thing, and it hasn’t got me anywhere.
It follows me into bed, into the shower, into conversations.
I know the thinking isn’t helping, and I do it anyway.

Avoiding more and more

The list of things I avoid keeps growing.

This one needs a person, not an app

What works is going towards the things you avoid, in small steps, with someone alongside you. Doing it alone, all at once, makes it worse. So unstress won’t walk you through it. That’s on purpose. It can help you notice it, and point you to someone who can help.

There are places, people or tasks I’ve started avoiding.
Every time I get out of one I feel relieved, and the next one is a bit harder.
My life is smaller than it was a year ago, and I didn’t decide that.
I’ve got a reason for each thing I avoid, and I half know the reasons aren’t the point.

The past keeps coming back

Something that happened isn’t staying in the past.

This one needs a person, not an app

Grounding can help in the moment. It doesn’t do anything about why the moments keep coming. That’s work for someone trained in exactly this, and it’s work that helps.

Something that happened keeps coming back, as pictures, dreams or a jolt in my body, when I didn’t go looking for it.
Certain places, sounds or smells put me straight back there.
I stay away from anything that reminds me of it, and I’m more on edge than the situation calls for.

Nothing much matters

Flat, pointless, or not the life I meant to have.

Things aren’t painful so much as flat. Nothing pulls me forward.
I’m doing what I’m supposed to, and none of it is what I wanted.
Something I saw, did, or didn’t do sits wrong with me, and I can’t shake it.
I could say what would matter to me, and I’m not doing any of it.

What’s true for you today

You haven’t ticked anything yet. If something still feels heavy, that doesn’t mean nothing is going on. It might just be that none of these words are the right ones. The toolkit comes at it from the other side, starting from what’s happening right now. And the support resources are at the bottom of the page.

Open the toolkit

These seven are a way of looking at things, not a list of conditions. They come from research on how distress keeps itself going, put into everyday words. Nothing on this page can tell you what you have, and nothing here should be read as saying you’re alright. If things feel worse than usual, or have done for a while, the support resources are at the bottom of the page.

Not all stress is the same, and rest doesn’t fix all of itStress can mean too much to do, exhaustion or worries that keep coming back. Explore what may help and why rest isn’t always enough. Educational, not a diagnosis.