The toolkit

What’s going on right now?

Everything in unstress, sorted by what’s actually happening rather than by what the tool is called. Pick whichever is closest. Nothing here is stored, and you can pick again.

Start with what feels closest

Nothing quite fits?

If none of these fit: breathing is a reasonable first move for almost anything, and a check-in gives the day a number you can look back on. If things feel worse than usual, the support resources are at the bottom of the page.

If being gentle has stopped working
The right move changes depending on what’s going on. Stepping back is exactly right when you’re running on empty. The rest is what pays the debt back. It’s the opposite of right when you’ve started steering around something frightening, because every time you go around it, the fear gets a bit more convincing. Same action, opposite effect, and which one you’re in is what decides. If being gentle with yourself has stopped helping, that might be why. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it badly.

These are ordinary, widely taught self-help practices, described in our own words. They aren’t medical advice or a treatment, and none of them has to work for you. If something here feels wrong for you, it probably is. Leave it.

If you feel at risk of harming yourself or someone else, or if you feel unable to stay safe, contact emergency services or a local crisis line immediately.

In an immediate emergency — if you or someone else is in danger — call your local emergency number now (112 in the EU, 911 in the US, 999 in the UK).